Like many comedians, I was pretty depressed after Orange-Facey got elected, but I've been coping pretty well by being positive. Here's 10 positives for comedians to think about.
1. You are probably white and male, so you're going to be fine!
Whew! Congratulations on privelige making it easier to do activities like stand-up comedy! Now you also won't be murdred by roving gangs of Nazis!
2. Easier to get prescriptions for psychological disorders!
Psychologist keeping you from your benzos because they are afraid of you getting addicted? Take heart! They're probably too busy now and cutting themselves to care how much you are taking. They might even have Xanax instead of mints in the waiting room.
3. Nothing improves comedy like impending doom!
Stand up comedy just isn't as good when everyone's happy and frolicking. Now that everyone is feeling like the Grim Reaper is getting his band together for a nationwide tour, laughter becomes more accessible!
4. Larry "The Cable" Guy likely to get a big tax break!
I mean, he's a multi-millionaire, and a conservative, and when they get tax breaks they create jobs. Since he's a comedian, he's going to create a bunch of comedy jobs! This is how this works, right?
5. Future censorship laws make it easier to narrow down material!
So you can only make jokes that the government approves of or go to prison. So what? It's not like you actually like all your material anyway.
Everyone likes wars, right? Now you can uh, be a comedian...in a war!
7. Endless screams of the tortured!
I mean, who...doesn't like ambience?
So there you go! 10 reasons to think positive about a Trump presidency! So get up off your couch and go be funny!